Single. Loved. Pursued

I am 28, I am single and the age old question of where is my husband and why isn’t he ready has not only scratched the surface of my conversations with others, it’s went deep into the wells of my soul and created a beautiful mess. Its revealed things in me that hid behind the facade that I was okay, that I was in fact ready to be married.

So what exactly is God waiting on? He was waiting for me to be free from fear. The fear that built a wall around my heart. The fear that said, I will not let “you” in because I’m AFRAID of making a mistake, AFRAID of being hurt and torn apart. He was waiting for me to TRUST HIM. To show me that I.am.not in control, HE IS. He was waiting to show me that even if there is or isn’t someone pursuing my heart, HE IS. And I believe with everything in me that THIS truth is what He has been waiting for me to see. That though HE FULLY KNOWS ME, HE STILL PURSUES ME! I don’t know about you but it shattered my world and put it back together in the same breath. It counteracted everything I’ve believed in this past season. And it is the truth that has set me free.

From this side of heaven and this side of the waiting I can live from the perspective that I am being pursued by love. That the God of majesty and wonders is after my heart.

Love is relentless and It’s pursued us from the cross and each day after. I’m in awe. I am free. I am loved. I am grateful.

Grateful I no longer have to live out my days of waiting, wondering when the time will be right. Because in actuality I’m not waiting to be loved, I am loved. And whether I think I’m ready or not. Well, that’s up to God…

The process continues.

A nervous heart is a heart that needs to be loved, calmed and assured that it will.be.okay. That if it trusts in The Lord, it cannot be shaken, it cannot be moved.

 “Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever.” Psalm 125:1

A heart that’s weighed with anxiety needs to know that the impossibles and the situations that are in the trenches are in the hands of God. It’s surrendered to the One who holds it all together, The One who knows how it’s going to end, if in fact it is surrendered. But not only does God know the end of the matter, the intermediate stages of the matter have His full attention. And it’s on the way to the end of the journey that you are being prepared for what your character couldn’t withstand had it not been for the journey. So, nervous heart, be still.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.” Exodus 14:14

There is a maker who is familiar with your process. I’ve learned one resounding truth that’ll keep me to the end of days.

“All of life is the undoing of ourselves. All of life is a process.”-Steffany Gretzinger

I’d say it’s time I become excellent at process.

I learned an astounding lesson from Esther, that preparation is beautification.

“Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil and myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics.” Esther 2:12

Though the beauty trPainted Background 225eatments were focussed on the outer appearance, it enhanced their beauty. It was said that Esther was already beautiful (Esther 2:7), perhaps, she did not need  12 months of beautification, (though I doubt any woman would object to beauty treatments) but it was required to go to the next step; being presented to King Xerxes. The beautifying process was necessary.

Our process, whatever that may be,  is meant to make us even more beautiful from the inside out. It is meant to prepare us for what’s ahead, to gracefully be able to walk into the next season, ready to bless anyone and any situation with the strength and beauty God graced us to gain because of the process.

So dear friends, Don’t give up. Embrace the Process. It’s meant to create a beauty in you that wouldn’t happen otherwise.

Anchored in Zion

Renee Jael

 

Nonsensical Believing

It’s a season of believing that makes my faith seem nonsensical! But I hope, despite of the facts, I hope against the odds. But only because I’ve heard and Believed the whispers in my heart.

God doesn’t shout, He whispers. And I know His voice.

Sometimes God’s promises seem so far away and sometimes, they seem impossible. His promises seem so far away that it seems we cannot reach them. But, the thing is we don’t have to reach for them, He gives us His promises and when He gives us something, we don’t have to work for it. It’s a gift. It’s precious, it should bring us joy, not sorrow. But what if something about that gift does cause us sorrow? It may be that the gift was opened too early or maybe even too late. And if there’s is sorrow, there is a promise for joy.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalms 30:5b

I don’t know about you. But I want God’s will and His perfect will only. My options are His will or His will. I don’t have to blindly make decisions wondering If I did the right thing, though sometimes doing the “right thing and the hard thing are the same”. He gives me peace and confirmations along the way, nudging me to tell me, “it’s okay, I’ve got you. I can see you’re frustrated. I know this hurts, but I know what I am doing. You can trust Me, You can believe in Me. I have Your best interest at hand. I know that what you feel makes it seem as if I am against you. But I am not. I AM for you. I Love You. You are mine. And no good thing will I withhold from you.”

I have to believe or elsdont-stope I would not be a Christian.  Christianity is about faith. It’s about believing and acting upon that belief, as in, the things I do as a follower of Christ, should line up with my belief in Him. And if He’s called me to believe that He died on a cross for me to live, that He went to hell to defeat the devil himself, that He rose from the dead; all things that seem illogical, then I can believe in the radical and specific promises He has placed in my heart.

Because if His death and resurrection aren’t true, then oh boy, I’m in trouble.

What has Jesus commissioned you to believe? Is it crazy enough that you don’t think you have enough faith to believe it? That’s okay. Because He saved you by grace through faith, it was a gift from Him. Not anything you did.

Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

And here’s the AMP version:

For it is by grace (God’s unmerited favor) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8-9 AMP

 

If He can give us grace through faith to receive the gift of salvation. He can give us the grace to believe that He is a God of His Word and that He will give us THE gift and THE promis
e that He desires for us to have in His perfect time. He continually nudges me on through His word to not only believe that He will give what He has promised but to hold on to Hope, especially on days when I ask him, “ Are you sure, God?”, “Trust me, do not lean on your own understanding.” He replies.

 

Anchored in Zion

Renee Jael

Sometimes I don’t like being an ISFJ!

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Sometimes, I don’t like being an ISFJ. Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. In practical words, “Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Feeling”, also known as, “The Nurturer”.

I feel every thing! When I’m happy, I’m the bubbliest person you can find. But when someone is hurting, I feel it. If i’m experiencing life altering emotions, my sensing feelings are escalated. I feel it in my core! Being an ISFJ can also get me into trouble but Jesus helps to guide me and which prevents my sensing emotions to lead me. Sometimes, I listen, other times I don’t. However, “I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you {me} will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

He works with us in our weaknesses. Not leaving us to be lead by our defenses and resolves. Leaning on His wisdom saves us from heart break, and other inconveniences life offers. I pray that you and I can lean into His voice every time He speaks. He longs to guide us in truth and prevent ourselves and others from being the “victim” of our actions. 

The greatness in being an ISFJ is, that in the Lord’s hands, He has shaped my heart of compassion. A heart He alone has given me towards the suffering and hurting.  Through this personality type, I understand my calling. But I also understand and believe that It’s Christian to love the hurting and Christian to help the suffering. Knowing my personality type has helped me comprehend why I am the way I am, why I do the things I do, why I feel the way I feel. But as I walk along side Jesus, those things are stronger and He can do so much more through me, than “my personality” can. He adds the super, to my natural!

I can’t tell you how grateful I am, that I am an ISFJ because it enables me to relate to people I am privileged to encounter.  To love them and give every part of me that I can give. To understand them, bring out the best in them, in some cases. And to simply love, Uniquely. 

What’s your personality type?  What’s your significant others personality type? 

I guarantee, that knowing yours and the person or people you love and do life with, will significantly help you to understand them, and love them in action even more! It influences your thoughts and response towards others!

“Seek first to understand, than to be understood.”- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (S.Covey)

To learn more about me, the ISFJ: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ.html

To find yours by taking the test: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Hope this has helped someone today!

Blessings & Love to You!

Renee Jael

Anchored in Zion 

 

Anchored in Christ.

I love this life. I am in love with new. Because old just won’t cut it. 

“I am a new creation, old things have passed away….”

Why would I live any.other.way. 

I was incredibly lost.

And now. I am eternally found. 

This is just gratitude. expressing. From moments burst because of times with Him. 

Him who mends my brokenness, Him who heals my dreams, that were lost at sea, when the boat turned upside down.

The waters rushed, violently towards me, but i’ve been anchored, by Christ. 

He is my hope, everlasting.

He. Is my Anchor. 

 

Renee Jael

Anchored in Zion. 

Love, as I am learning it to be.

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| Image taken by Renee Jael. |

My thoughts write more than my hands do. January 1st resurrected silence at my fingertips. Writing, for me, is a process. A thinking, breathing, heart wrenching process that sounds quite complicated, but is most probably true, if not for anyone else, but for me. New beginnings and surprises. Disappointments mixed in between reality and hope. I’ve learned that Love is more than butterflies. Love is consistent and admits that its wrong. Love is not proud. It is not irritable, it keeps no record of being wronged. Love is patient. And the truth about patience is that it has. to. wait. Yet, how does love patiently endure, with others and with thy self. Love is not rude, (nor is it sarcastic), it does not demand it’s own way, love never gives up, it never loses faith, it always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

| Love in black and white is 1 Corinthians 13. |

Love for me has not been holding hands and walks in the park. It has been seeing beyond the surface and understanding that one is, put quite simply, human. Being human includes brokenness, being at fault, offending and being offended, using our tongues as weapons instead of healers, dividers instead of bridges that bring us closer together. I ,however, cannot love apart from Christ. In my own strength and in my own way I fail.

| Love Himself said, “Look at how I have loved you.”|

Unconditionally, despite of my sin, my decisions, doubt, fear, in spite of my disregard for the power cross which is sometimes emulated by the way I think, and respond due to my thoughts. Strong statement. I know. But the moment I remove my eyes from the beauty of the cross, I forget what was done for me to overcome.

Love remains when emotions fade. I look to Christ who went to cross. I can assure you, that He did not feel like being severely abused or deeply humiliated, but He endured crucifixion and did what was best for us all so that we can have freedom, eternal life and a relationship with God, the Father. Love is action but not void of emotion. We are called to act in love. And when we act in love we fall in love all over again.

| Love in action, is perfectly, Jesus Christ. And God who willingly gave Him for us. |

“Right actions produce right emotions.”-Jeanne Mayo

I will undoubtedly be in a continual place of learning to actively and successfully love from He who loves me perfectly, Jesus.

  Anchored in Zion Renee Jael

Breaking Silence | Relationships

“Stay within the sphere of grace I have called you to walk in. Don’t allow your natural affections or love to pull you away from the divine assignment on your life”- John Bevere, “The Holy Spirit” book

This has been undeniably the thing that keeps me “bee-lining to destiny. No, I am not called to singleness. Yes. That is a bold and transparent statement. But without transparency how can we walk in freedom? I am broken in more ways than I can share or begin to explain. But I am completely taken over by the Love of Christ. It’s unexplainable but, I am. And because I have His love containing me, I can stay the course. Not bending or settling to the desires of life that may or may not distract me from the purpose that was set for me before the beginning of time. Am I saying that it’s easy? Absolutely not. But I know who I am and Whose I am.

My thoughts have been churning deeply around the thoughts of marriage and relationships. My resolve is this: Our earthly relationships are meant to compliment us. Not fulfill us. But why do we crave love. I’m saying what some may be thinking. And that’s okay, because whoever you are, you are not alone.

God created us so His presence can fill us, and though it may not always be tangible, He is ever present. We were made with a God sized hole that only He can fill. 

When I first became a Christian, I was dating a guy that did not believe as I did and to the demise of my heart, I had to walk away, thinking that whomever was going to capture the fancies of my heart, needed to at least be a Christian. I was 17. And completely naive. A month later, I dated a “Christian” by label only, not by lifestyle. And this time, I was forced to walk away, circumstantially.

At 17 anImaged 18, relationships, are everything. Well, that and education. Still hoping, but still so oblivious to Who I truly needed to be in a relationship with. I pursued yet another relationship with another “Christian” guy. Wrong again, for two reasons:

| I pursued |

| The label Christian did not match up to the lifestyle, Christian|

So at 19, I was over it or at least, I tried to be. Because that summer, I still felt so, so empty. I knew that I had a relationship with God but I didn’t understand that He was “The One.” The One, that can fully satisfy me and fill the void I felt inside. It’s not after another failed attempt at being filled with the presence of another “Christian” guy that I was truly done with pursuing the title I thought would change the dynamic of my young, young life.

And so here it is, 9 years later, imperfectly finding my way to His heart and still reminding myself of truths I need to remain “happily single” until such a time is over. I am no longer naive to the things I thought would make me whole. I am Completely Loved and Filled by The One. Jesus.  Revelation? I think so.

Anchored in Zion

Renee Jael