Single. Loved. Pursued

I am 28, I am single and the age old question of where is my husband and why isn’t he ready has not only scratched the surface of my conversations with others, it’s went deep into the wells of my soul and created a beautiful mess. Its revealed things in me that hid behind the facade that I was okay, that I was in fact ready to be married.

So what exactly is God waiting on? He was waiting for me to be free from fear. The fear that built a wall around my heart. The fear that said, I will not let “you” in because I’m AFRAID of making a mistake, AFRAID of being hurt and torn apart. He was waiting for me to TRUST HIM. To show me that I.am.not in control, HE IS. He was waiting to show me that even if there is or isn’t someone pursuing my heart, HE IS. And I believe with everything in me that THIS truth is what He has been waiting for me to see. That though HE FULLY KNOWS ME, HE STILL PURSUES ME! I don’t know about you but it shattered my world and put it back together in the same breath. It counteracted everything I’ve believed in this past season. And it is the truth that has set me free.

From this side of heaven and this side of the waiting I can live from the perspective that I am being pursued by love. That the God of majesty and wonders is after my heart.

Love is relentless and It’s pursued us from the cross and each day after. I’m in awe. I am free. I am loved. I am grateful.

Grateful I no longer have to live out my days of waiting, wondering when the time will be right. Because in actuality I’m not waiting to be loved, I am loved. And whether I think I’m ready or not. Well, that’s up to God…

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Nonsensical Believing

It’s a season of believing that makes my faith seem nonsensical! But I hope, despite of the facts, I hope against the odds. But only because I’ve heard and Believed the whispers in my heart.

God doesn’t shout, He whispers. And I know His voice.

Sometimes God’s promises seem so far away and sometimes, they seem impossible. His promises seem so far away that it seems we cannot reach them. But, the thing is we don’t have to reach for them, He gives us His promises and when He gives us something, we don’t have to work for it. It’s a gift. It’s precious, it should bring us joy, not sorrow. But what if something about that gift does cause us sorrow? It may be that the gift was opened too early or maybe even too late. And if there’s is sorrow, there is a promise for joy.

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalms 30:5b

I don’t know about you. But I want God’s will and His perfect will only. My options are His will or His will. I don’t have to blindly make decisions wondering If I did the right thing, though sometimes doing the “right thing and the hard thing are the same”. He gives me peace and confirmations along the way, nudging me to tell me, “it’s okay, I’ve got you. I can see you’re frustrated. I know this hurts, but I know what I am doing. You can trust Me, You can believe in Me. I have Your best interest at hand. I know that what you feel makes it seem as if I am against you. But I am not. I AM for you. I Love You. You are mine. And no good thing will I withhold from you.”

I have to believe or elsdont-stope I would not be a Christian.  Christianity is about faith. It’s about believing and acting upon that belief, as in, the things I do as a follower of Christ, should line up with my belief in Him. And if He’s called me to believe that He died on a cross for me to live, that He went to hell to defeat the devil himself, that He rose from the dead; all things that seem illogical, then I can believe in the radical and specific promises He has placed in my heart.

Because if His death and resurrection aren’t true, then oh boy, I’m in trouble.

What has Jesus commissioned you to believe? Is it crazy enough that you don’t think you have enough faith to believe it? That’s okay. Because He saved you by grace through faith, it was a gift from Him. Not anything you did.

Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

And here’s the AMP version:

For it is by grace (God’s unmerited favor) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8-9 AMP

 

If He can give us grace through faith to receive the gift of salvation. He can give us the grace to believe that He is a God of His Word and that He will give us THE gift and THE promis
e that He desires for us to have in His perfect time. He continually nudges me on through His word to not only believe that He will give what He has promised but to hold on to Hope, especially on days when I ask him, “ Are you sure, God?”, “Trust me, do not lean on your own understanding.” He replies.

 

Anchored in Zion

Renee Jael

Love, as I am learning it to be.

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| Image taken by Renee Jael. |

My thoughts write more than my hands do. January 1st resurrected silence at my fingertips. Writing, for me, is a process. A thinking, breathing, heart wrenching process that sounds quite complicated, but is most probably true, if not for anyone else, but for me. New beginnings and surprises. Disappointments mixed in between reality and hope. I’ve learned that Love is more than butterflies. Love is consistent and admits that its wrong. Love is not proud. It is not irritable, it keeps no record of being wronged. Love is patient. And the truth about patience is that it has. to. wait. Yet, how does love patiently endure, with others and with thy self. Love is not rude, (nor is it sarcastic), it does not demand it’s own way, love never gives up, it never loses faith, it always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

| Love in black and white is 1 Corinthians 13. |

Love for me has not been holding hands and walks in the park. It has been seeing beyond the surface and understanding that one is, put quite simply, human. Being human includes brokenness, being at fault, offending and being offended, using our tongues as weapons instead of healers, dividers instead of bridges that bring us closer together. I ,however, cannot love apart from Christ. In my own strength and in my own way I fail.

| Love Himself said, “Look at how I have loved you.”|

Unconditionally, despite of my sin, my decisions, doubt, fear, in spite of my disregard for the power cross which is sometimes emulated by the way I think, and respond due to my thoughts. Strong statement. I know. But the moment I remove my eyes from the beauty of the cross, I forget what was done for me to overcome.

Love remains when emotions fade. I look to Christ who went to cross. I can assure you, that He did not feel like being severely abused or deeply humiliated, but He endured crucifixion and did what was best for us all so that we can have freedom, eternal life and a relationship with God, the Father. Love is action but not void of emotion. We are called to act in love. And when we act in love we fall in love all over again.

| Love in action, is perfectly, Jesus Christ. And God who willingly gave Him for us. |

“Right actions produce right emotions.”-Jeanne Mayo

I will undoubtedly be in a continual place of learning to actively and successfully love from He who loves me perfectly, Jesus.

  Anchored in Zion Renee Jael

Endure

I walk in imperfection everyday. I cheat on my “diets” by making flourless peanut butter cookies. I pretty much add peanut butter to everything. But that’s probably not the best “diet” is it? Truthfully, I’m not dieting, I’m just experimenting with better ways to eat healthier. But this post is not about diets or peanut butter, It’s about endurance.

We are expected to endure the blizzards and storms, keep it together and hold our ground. We dare not fall through the cracks while the earth opens up from under us. And while we can’t choose our storms, when they start or when they stop we can choose Joy and Peace. They are both a choice and prayer away.  So today, in this moment, I am choosing Joy, by thinking on the sweetness of my Savior and the promises of His word.  That “the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10

The years may seem short, but the days may seem longer, as the waiting and dawning of new hope is anticipated. God reassures us that even “the mountains may depart” and even “the hills be removed” but, His “steadfast love” remains. And if His love can save me from eternal death, it can save me from everything else. It can keep me from being utterly ripped apart by the cold and harsh blizzards. It can help me to, Endure.

It can answer all my questions and ease my worry. His love is endless and it fills the gaps that the earth creates. His love is enduring, And I can endure with it. We can endure with it. Hold fast, the tides are washing over and the sun is rising, just over the waves.

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Anchored in Zion

Renee Jael

 

 

All of life is The Undoing

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“All of life is a process. All of life is the undoing and there are layers of things we walk through. He lets us walk through a process to build a man or a woman that couldn’t be built any other way. He is asking us to get good at process, to admit we blew it and acknowledge we need to get close to Him”-Steffany Frizzell-Gretzinger (Always Getting Closer, Sermon)

Deeper Burden. For the ones that are Sold.

The daily browsinImageg through my Facebook feed was just a way to pass the time, not expecting to see anything that would stop me and irritate my emotions to weeping. Pure justified, hurt.

It was an article that two of my friends re-posted on sex trafficking in South East Asia. I have had doubts of whether or not I really heard God. But compassion does not lie. Less than half way through the article, I began weeping, heavily. Unable to stop. I read the numbers of people being trafficked in one area, by the hundreds. And it floored my heart to the ground, creating a burden heavier than before.

And so today, I am continuing my humble request for support. Missionary Training begins in September and fundraising is mildly moving along. I am embracing this training so that I can be Anchored when everything tells me to run back home. When discomfort yells louder than my call to nurture back to life what death tried to steal.

“God be gracious to us and bless us, and cause His face to shine upon us. {Selah} That Your way may be known on the earth, Your salvation among all nations.” {Psalm 67:1-2}

You can access the “Donate” button through Pay Pal on the right of my blog or on the About page.

Heartfelt Thanks

Renee Jael

Anchored in Zion

Obedient Sacrifice

The sacrifice of comfort is rewarding, breaking down the wall of selfish carrying ons. Relinquishing my right to go about with my schedule, I stopped at Starbucks on the way home. Having already visited twice in one day, did a recording for my fundraising video coming soon and back again to use my treat receipt!

I saw a girl, sweet, and carried admirable art work, tattoos. At first glance I could tell she needed “something” more than Starbucks. I carried on reading and writing, facebooking and the like, then I turned around. Immediately, God gave me instruction.
God-“go talk to her”
I replied “and say what, this is always awkward.”
God-“she needs to hear the gospel”
And so there I was faced with not doing it because it was awkward.
Needless to say, God and I talked. “If you can’t love people here, you can’t love people where you are going”, “when do you ever regret talking to someone I asked you to?” Even when I’ve been rejected, there’s almost ever no regret.
He always reminds me of this. I’m so grateful for His patience. I packed my things up and I paused as I walked out the door. There she was right in front of me, I embraced the moment, engaging conversation that flowed so easily. She was so welcoming. But more than that, she was in awe the entire time I spoke with her. Tearing up when I told her that “God noticed her.” Not only did she hear God noticed her, she believed it. Continuing in easy conversation about His love, about Jesus, her journey…and seeking Him.
I must say, I was ever so happy that I stopped and talked to her.
She said, “You were right on time, I cannot believe this, you have no idea how much I needed that”

My challenge to you: Stop for the one. They matter and are noticed by the One who loves them most.

Anchored in Zion
Renee Jael